国外的有爱网站……大家在上面交流自己的倒霉事。

OLAY

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

今天，我给我男友发短信说：“Hi”。他的回复是：“我把你最好的朋友肚子搞大了”。FML

OLAY

Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML

今天，我上交了我的博士论文，我花了半年的时间做调查来写这篇论文。昨晚，我的室友在微软WORD里面的“自动更正”里面把“也不是(neither)”这个词全改成了“黑鬼(nigger)”。我一直到交了论文以后才发现。更糟糕的是我的教授就是个黑人。FML

OLAY

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

今天，我男友和我决定试试X菊花。当他结束了以后，我转过身来，发现他面带微笑地拿着一个绑在腰带上的橡胶JJ，对我说：“现在来X我。”FML

OLAY

Today, I went to my first strip club for my friends birthday. I also found out what my girlfriend does for a living. FML

今天，为了给我哥们庆祝生日我们第一次来到了脱衣舞俱乐部。我也发现了我的女友的工作室什么。FML

OLAY

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML

今天，我发现因为我的血压太高，我一个月都不能OOXX。我的婚礼是下个星期，然后接下来的两个星期是蜜月。FML

OLAY

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

今天，我去牙医那里洗牙。我抬头看着他，发现有鼻涕往他的嘴唇上滴。我试图慢慢地挪开，他告诉我“别动！”结果他说话的动作导致那大块鼻涕径直掉进了我嘴里。FML

OLAY

Today, I found out that I am 14 weeks pregnant. The father of the baby is now engaged to my best friend, whom he was cheating on me with when I became pregnant. I'm going to be the maid of honor, 8 months pregnant with his child, at their wedding. FML

今天，我发现我已经怀孕三个多月了。孩子他爸现在已经和我最好的朋友订婚，在我怀孕的时候他一直和她有一腿。我将会是他们婚礼上怀着新郎的孩子8个月的伴娘。FML

OLAY

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

今天，我和我的祖父母睡在一个屋子里面。他们先是来确认我睡没睡着。为了不被责怪成熬夜，我就假装睡着了。结果，他们是想要OOXX，所以才来确认我是不是睡了的。我亲眼目睹了两个70岁老头老太太在我旁边的床上OOXX的情形。FML

OLAY

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

今天，我在外面吃饭的时候，饭店经理来找我谈话。他说虽然他很尊重我的个人选择，但是他的顾客们对于一个“曾经是男人”的女人用女卫生间感到非常不舒服。也就是说，他们以为我是个变性人。而我是个天生的女人。FML

OLAY

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediatly ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

今天，我在翻看我父母的旧的家庭录像。我把其中一个放进了录像机，惊恐地发现那里录着我的父母在做爱做的事。我立刻弹出了录像带并且看了看那上面的标签。上面写着：“百慕大，1989”。他们曾经告诉我说我就是在那个时候的百慕大群岛上被怀上的。我看到了自己被怀上的情形。FML

OLAY

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

今天，我自己一人来到了我和我男友第一次约会的地方：一个孤僻的山上。我注意到有另一对情侣藏在灌木丛中亲热。于是我打电话给我男友，想要告诉他说有人找到了属于我们的秘密幽会地点。然后我就听到了我男友手机的Bob Marley的彩铃声从那堆灌木里飘来。FML

OLAY

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

今天，我和一个女孩在我公寓里面打发时间……然后我们都来了感觉，就开始亲热。一步接着一步，然后我知道她要准备给我KJ。我正做好爽的准备，她突然停了下来，抬起头来望着我的眼睛说……“你信耶稣吗？”FML

这个我一直理解不能。有了解美国人生活习惯和信教习俗的帮忙解释下吧。

[ 本帖最后由 OLAY 于 2009-8-13 18:26 编辑 ]

OLAY

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

今天，我被我老爸突然造访我宿舍的敲门声所吵醒。我把门打开对着在门外的他打招呼，这时候我的室友脱光了衣服拉开了门，亲了我的脸颊，用一种超级搞基的声音说“昨晚你真棒”以后跑了。FML

OLAY

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

今天，我光着身子站在床边，等着我老婆从浴室里面出来。她打开了浴室的门走向我，扭动着她的腰，什么都没穿。当她离我有四英尺的时候，她在地板垫上跌了一跤，而且用了我的JJ来稳住身形。FML

OLAY

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

今天，我躺在床上试图睡着，可是就在此时我听见了我父母在OX。所以我戴上了耳机听音乐。听了好长好长一段时间之后，我想他们应该已经完事了，所以我摘下了耳机。结果我刚好赶上他们结束那一段。FML

OLAY

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

今天，我老板发了条短信把我炒了鱿鱼。我没给手机申请短信包月。也就是说我花了25美分来被炒。FML

OLAY

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML

今天，我在高速上开车的时候接到了一个电话，得知了我两个最好朋友因交通事故而死。我歇斯底里地把车快速在道边停下，然后过来一个交警问我怎么了。我解释了一切，结果他给了我一张罚单，说是因为我在开车的同时使用手机。FML

OLAY

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML

今天，我男友和我决定在他的家里OOXX。我们到了以后，他先去看信箱里面有没有信，然后就发现他订购的Wii的游戏到货了。他把我送回了家因为他更想玩游戏。FML

OLAY

Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML

今天，我拜托我父母帮我报名加入军队。结果他们问我的是如果我死了，政府能补贴多少钱。FML

OLAY

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After i knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background: "Baby, who's there?" FML

今天，拿着鲜花，打算给我认识了两年的女友一个惊喜，跟她共进晚餐。我敲了敲她公寓的们——然后一个英俊的年轻男人打开了门。我以为我敲错了门，道了歉转身准备离开的时候，我听到了我女朋友的声音——“宝贝，门口的是谁？”FML

[ 本帖最后由 OLAY 于 2009-8-13 18:27 编辑 ]